Roller Coaster

Tuesday, August 27, 2013



My job feels like a roller coaster these days.  The weekend was terrible. But then yesterday the boss started feeling better.
And today she feels better still.
I have been preparing myself for a down hill slope for so long that it's hard for my mind to switch gears.
She's eating better.  She's sleeping less during the day.
I am so happy for her.  
But it's hard too.  Because I know she is never going to get better.  She will never beat this thing.  But days like today....make me believe that she will.
Even though tomorrow...could be terrible.  
I wish I could put more details on here about my work.  About my boss.  But I just can't for privacy reasons.
There are some heartbreaking moments.
There are times that are so funny that I can't believe she just said what she did.
There are times when I am doing something for her and I think....I never thought I'd be doing this.
There are times when I think....I can't do this anymore.  It's all just to much.
There are days that I don't want to go home.  Because her home feels like my home.  
There are moments when my stomach drops...like the feeling you get when you are flying downhill on a roller coaster.
There are moments when I want off the ride.
And other days...I hope it lasts forever.


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