Well....I made it through two of the three days of the convention.  I keep going back and forth between being disappointed that I didn't go to all three and proud that I made it through two.

Saturday night I felt like a toy top.  Wound so tight to the point of being broke.  I was in the shower and noticed my arm.  I had little red marks all over it. 

When I am stressed and anxious I used to dig my fingernails into my arm.  It helped me focus on something else and it felt good to be distracted. 
Then I realized that this could easily turn into self harming and I needed to stop.

But I did it yesterday to get through the day. 

I showed my husband. 

He said ," I'm taking you home."

So Sunday morning instead of getting dressed in a skirt and blouse, I stayed in my pajamas.  Thankfully they could pass as exercise clothes. 



We went to breakfast.  Then to a book store.  A book store can be more calming to me then a massage sometimes. 

Then we started off for home.  The drive between Missouri and Nebraska is really beautiful.  I think so anyway. 

And I spotted my house!



I saw this house on the way to Kansas City and tried to remember where it was so I could take a picture of it on the way home.  This house is perfection for me.  Huge tree in the front yard, wrap around porch, a small barn in the back.  I'm guessing that attic room is adorable.  It just needs to sit back about a mile from the interstate.  See that spot of pink?  I bet it's a peony bush.  They are in full bloom right now and gorgeous.  I think there is a clothes line in the back and possibly a windmill. 

But I'll just have to wait to move into my dream house till the owners decide to give it to me.

We made it home about 1:00.  I unpacked and cleaned and did some laundry. 

We are leaving on Wednesday for South Dakota.  I'm not to nervous about packing because I am pretty much going to bring every item of clothing that I own. 
I warned my husband about this.
He said it was OK. 
I'm terrified of wearing dirty clothes.  We are camping for seven days. 
I have to be prepared you know?

I'm trying to not be stressed and anxious over this camping trip.  I can't just stay home from everything for the rest of my life. 

Even though some days I would love to. 
Just hole up in my house and never go past my driveway. 
But I would miss so much. 
So I will take a deep breath and hope for the best.

 Again.

 And remind myself that even if there are some bad days, it won't be long and I'll be home. 

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