This was the first weekend in about three months that I have had anytime alone.  Mentally I was ready for it.  I feel good.  I have alot of energy.  I am happy.  So it fell at the perfect time as far as my mental state goes.  Still, my mind easily wanders so I had to make sure that I was busy.  Saturday I tackled my bedroom.  It was a disaster.





 And being scatterbrained and having a hard time focusing makes a semi simple task turn into a all day project.

 Because I couldn't clean off my dresser without organizing every single drawer.

 I couldn't tidy up my bedside table without going through all the books on it and oh wait if I just stop and read this magazine that is two months old I can just throw it away.

 I couldn't hang up my clothes without taking out every single piece and rehanging some on the "good" hangers and pitching the items I don't want.  Which is a task in itself because with every shirt I thought....is this me?  Do I even like this?  I'll never wear it.  But my boss bought it for me!  What if she dies!? Will i regret throwing it away?
So it took me the entire day. 



But that's OK.  I listened to IHeart radio.  Took a few breaks.


Ate lunch outside with Darren.


Speaking of Darren, he was busy most of the day.  We ran a few errands in the morning and then in the afternoon he went dirt bike riding with a couple of friends. 
So far he has convinced two of his buddies to buy a dirt bike and he is working on more. 

I am quite positive that their parents hate us. 


It's scary and dangerous and can be a mother's worst nightmare.  Those bikes are fast and heavy.


But he loves it.  So what can I do?

I really do enjoy being alone.  But after awhile I kept looking out the front window every time I thought I heard his truck.

Sunday I woke up at 5:30 and refused to get out of bed.  I fell back asleep until 10.  Darren was up.  He has a graduation and party to go to.  I am at Scooters because it's raining and the Internet is non existent at our house when it's raining.  My husband and Micah should be getting home sometime late this evening.  I have missed them so much.

A quiet house is nice but I don't like it as much as I used too.  I love the chatter, sound of footsteps on the wood floor, the occasional fight.  The door chime when someone comes in or out.  I wonder what sounds I make when I am there.  I bet they would miss them if I were gone.

  I know they would. 



I feel good about myself this weekend.  I felt like a grown up who does responsible things like clean her bedroom and who doesn't fall apart.   I felt like, "See?  You are a good person.  You know how to take care of things.  You can make good decisions even when no one is looking.  And p.s your bedroom looks awesome."

And for the first time in a long time I believed every word.

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