After a long day of riding it was time to eat and build a fire.
The boys collected the wood. 


I told him I have always loved him best. 

My oldest son says, "But I have made you FIYAAAA!!!!" (in the voice of Tom Hanks in Castaway.) 



OK.  You both win. 

In the morning we rode tracks for a bit then went to the hill climbs.


See the guy way up top in red?  That's my husband.


My oldest son and husband love these.


I think that's my son going up.


My youngest thinks the hill climbs are a bit intimidating.



He kept surveying the situation.  He's a smart rider.  He's confident enough to have fun but fearful enough to know when to stop.  He stepped back and said, "Nope.  That's just way to sketchy."

We rode back to camp and started to load up.  It's quite a process with three dirt bikes and one four wheeler. It takes alot of ratchet straps.



We had a great time.  It was nice to just be....US. 

A few months ago I was ready to leave everything.  Everyone.  To a life that would have been damaging in all aspects.  It didn't make any sense.  But in my mind, it was the only completely logical way to go.  Depression deceives you.  It makes the things you love  seem dark and gloomy and terribly hard to be around until you can't bear it anymore and need out of the cage your in. 

I beg and plead with myself all the time.
I say, "Please, please, please, remember how you love.  How they love you.  How beautiful this life is."

Remember remember remember. I want the feelings to glue themselves to my head.  To grow bigger and crowd out the bad ones whenever they start roaring.

Right now they are quiet.  And I am trying to rally in every single happy thought and moment that I have each day.  Life can be very very sweet. 

I'm so glad I'm here to feel it. 

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