It says....

 "Your journey has molded you for your greater good.  It was exactly what it needed to be.
Don't think you've lost time.  It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now.  And now is right on time."

It's a journal I bought at the craft fair a few weeks back.  The artist had alot of cool stuff.  I saved her card.



I kind of like this picture.  Snippets of my life.
 My infant nephew.  He is enormous now.
A Nebraska sticker "The Power of Red".
The orange striped shirt is me.  The hands beside it are my bosses. It was the last picture I have of her and I together.

Today was hard.  My mind was racing.

 Would you like a sample of my mind?  I found this at Target....


As I stood there holding it....

"Am I to old to have a notebook like this?  Is this for kids?  Would anyone think I was weird for using it?  Do I even like these colors?  I think I like green and blue together.  Or do I?  Maybe it's to small. Do I even really like this?  How will I feel when I pull this out of my bag to use it.  Happy?  Embarrassed?  For goodness sakes it's just a notebook!  You are such a weirdo!  No wonder you need therapy. Good thing you are seeing Jaime tomorrow.  What would she say about this?  She would say 'Will you use it? Do you like it?'  and I would say,  'I don't know!  I think I do.  Or maybe I just want to like it but I really don't!'  Wow.  What a waste of time and thought.  You are such a freak sometimes."

I threw it in the cart and walked to the check out line feeling dazed.

I was thinking about the quote above.  Am I grateful for my "journey"?  No.  Why would I be grateful for pain and heartache?  I hate this journey.  It's not fun and it's really hard.  Somebody get me off this road please.  And contrary to the quote....I have lost time.  I have missed out on so much.  And that isn't going to change either.  Sometimes I can't be there physically and other times I may be present but unable to enjoy it.
  
Your probably wondering why I said I liked the quote when all I've done is pick it apart.

I do like it.  It reminds me that all is not lost.  That even though I may  not like this journey...it's MY journey.  And I can use it to better myself or I can give into it and let the bad things that happen mold me into someone I don't want to be.  And that even though I have lost time, there are many many more good times to be had.  And that even though this road is tough, at least I'm still on it.  

Comments: