I felt so good this morning. But as the day went on....
I sent my husband a text.
"Feeling myself sliding down...Not sure what happened. I felt ok this morning."
"It's ok. Don't over think it. I'll help you through tonight."
Immediately, I started to over think it.
What happened? I was feeling so good! Something must have triggered it. My mind started to race...why why why...was it because of this? Was it because of that? There has to be a reason. I can't accept that this happens without a reason why.
But it does. It did. It will.
I work in a private home. I stayed downstairs this afternoon. Sat in the dark. Over thinking it.
One of the hardest things is trying to figure out what is a "real" feeling and what is the depression.
I have alot going on in my life right now. Alot of things to actually be depressed about. So when I feel it coming on...I wonder...is this how normal people feel under these circumstances or is this the depression? If I didn't have this illness how would I feel?
What is normal?
I'm doing it again.
I'll stop now.
I couldn't hide downstairs forever so I put my happy face on and went upstairs where there are humans and critters.
I saw this.
I smiled.
I won't over think that.
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