Saturday night I went over to stay with my boss for a few hours.  We watched the football game. She wanted to make sure I had enough light.  She wanted to make sure I wasn't hungry.  She wanted to make sure I was comfortable. After the game,  I got her ready for bed.  We talked for a little bit.  About nothing really.  She just didn't feel good.  We waited for her husband to come home.  I didn't hug her goodbye.

I should have hugged her goodbye.

On Sunday someone at her house texted me and said she wasn't eating.  I was frantically trying to think of suggestions.

On Monday morning I got a phone call at 6:00 a.m. I raced to work.

It all happened very quickly.

It was the best case scenario.

It was the worst case scenario.

I thought I would feel relief.

All I feel is that I want her here.

I want to ask her what I should do next.

The family has been extremely gracious towards me.  I spent the night at the house last night.  I went to the viewing with them today.

I will be there at the "family only" funeral.

I am so thankful.  For her family.  For loving me and wanting me to be there.

For my own family who has given up so many weekends and evening of being with me.  So that I can be with her.

There is so much more to say.  About her.  About me.

I just can't find the words right now.

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