The last time I saw Jaime she said that a pharmaceutical rep told her that Viibyrd only works if you take it with 350 calories.

It's only 50% effective if you don't.

I have been taking it on a empty stomach.

So ya.

That would have been nice to know, say, a year ago.

So I started taking it with food.

I haven't felt any effects with the Welbutrin yet.

They say to give it six weeks.  I think it's been three.

I lose track.

I am just sludging through life these days.

I have no motivation.

No energy.

And no enjoyment with anything.

It's hard.

Really hard.



I force myself to get out of bed.  I force myself to get dressed.  I force myself to brush my teeth.  I force myself to stand up straight.

Everything takes so much effort.

I wake up tired.  I go to work, counting down the hours till I get to go home and take a nap.  I nap  from three till five.  I get through the next four or five hours.  I fall asleep.  I sleep the whole night through.

I wake up tired.

So I pray.

Please help me get through this day.

And I hope.

Maybe the full effect of Viibryd will kick in.  Maybe the welbutrin will help in a week or two.  Maybe one morning I will wake up and this heavy, dark fog will have lifted.

Now that the weather is nicer, I'm going to start walking.  Exercise is suppose to help depression.  It can't hurt.
I also need to eat better.
A cookie for lunch isn't good for my energy level.
So while I'm waiting for the right drugs to kick in, there's other things that I can do to help myself. Its just that I'm so tired.  It's hard to find the energy to do those things.

But I guess I just have to dig deep don't I.
Maybe if I dig deep enough, I will crawl out of this hole.

On a more cheery note...here are some pictures of my amazing boys.  They are the foremost reason why I will dig deep.