I absolutely hate talking on the phone.  So I have procrastinated six days to make a appointment with the psychiatrist.
I finally called today.
I was transferred four times. I  teared up every time I repeated what I was calling for and finally someone told me that the doctor I was referred to is no longer accepting new patients.

Of course!

I asked....what am I supposed to do then?

The gal said that if I wanted to see another psychiatrist the soonest she could book a appointment was June.

Really?  How is that even possible.  There are people out there with much more serious problems then me....how in the world can you tell a mental patient that they can't get help for another month or so?

I said, that's not going to work.

She said she can get me in to see the nurse practitioner sooner.

Yes please.

All I'm really needing is someone to manage my medication.

I already have a therapist.

So hopefully this nurse will be able to help me.

Because so far...nothing seems to be working.

My appointment is May 16th.

With every appointment I make I tell myself.....I just have to hang on until then!

But nothing ever changes.

I can't tell you how discouraging that is.

This month was my birthday month.  A few stores sent me ten dollar gift cards.

I didn't have the energy or desire to go buy anything.

What a waste.

The above flowers did bring a smile to my face.  I half- heartedly planted them a few months ago thinking, there is no way these will ever come up.

I couldn't believe it when I saw them!  They are so pretty! The colors remind me of cream cheese mints.

I know someone who has a box at the Century Link Center.  I got free tickets to Rascal Flatts.



They were really good and I knew all the songs.
It was nice being with the family.


But the whole time I was thinking, I should be enjoying this more.  I just want to have a good time when there are good times to be had.

I pray every night....please let this lift from me.

One day it will.

It has to.

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